The Problem: Pressure to know what you want to do with your life in your late teens
Like a lot of parents, I used the old adage “You can be anything you want to be” with my daughter before she could even speak. As she got a little bigger and a little more aware, she would ask “Can I be a ______________?” Fill in the blank with whatever she saw at that moment: mail carrier, meteorologist, quarterback for the New York Giants.
And every time I said the same thing: “You can be anything you want to be.”
One day, when she was four, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. And she said: “A duck.”
She took my adage a bit too literally.
These days, if the subject comes up or I outright ask her what her interests might be, she has her own common adage: “I have no idea.”
And I remember being in that exact place: the adults in my life kept at me, trying to get me to give an answer I didn’t have because it all seemed so far away and massive. I had no idea what I wanted to do.
I was 17 years old, for shit’s sake! How could I?
Now I know this doesn’t hit home with everyone. Some people know exactly what they want to do or focus on in college and beyond.
These are often the doctors, lawyers, scientists, engineers, etc. I’m happy for them.
When I was 17 I was jealous, of course, and a little pissed with a dash of shame that I didn’t have the same level of “purpose.”
Anyway, this article may not be for those people who “know,” but it is for the overwhelming majority of young people who don’t have an answer (or maybe don’t have an answer that feels true).
The Crisis: How the hell can you write a college essay about nothing?!
Most of the time, it’s okay to take your time to figure out what it is you want to do. (It really is okay.) BUT sometimes, like when an adult asks or, say, when you’re applying to a school, how are you supposed to sell yourself when you have no friggin’ clue what the “right” answer is? How can you come across as a person when all you have are generic responses?
This is where things get tough: the college application process rewards specificity and detail. One of the most important elements to a college application strategy and college essay writing in particular is “demonstrated interest,” something I’ve written about before. So how do you show it when your college choices are based on school size or local climate?
The Way Forward: Focus on how your mind actually works.
Okay.
First, take a breath, hold it, and let it out slowly.
Second, remember that there’s nothing wrong with not being sure in your late teens what you want to be or do in your 30s or 40s. That’s normal.
Third, try to keep in mind that adults use professions or disciplines as shorthand for what they understand, but that doesn’t mean you have to play along. See, when adults hear “medicine,” they think about knowledge, disciplines, and precision that they associate with medicine. When they hear “engineering,” they think of the math, process thinking, and pragmatism that they associate with engineering.
Cut out the middle and jump to the way you think, act, or approach things:
- Are you someone who approaches the world analytically? Creatively? Critically?
- Are you someone who when you’re playing a board game just goes along for the ride? Are you competitive? Do you focus on yourself?
- When you have a problem do you try to figure it out on your own? Do you Google the hell out of it? Do you ask a few trusted people or everyone you come across?
If you change your approach, if you highlight the way your mind works instead of any one job or area, you can come across in detail as a real person and not some generic schmoe.
If you’d like to learn more about developing a tailored strategy for your application, click here.